literature

APH: You can't

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Literature Text

Kiku winced as he fell downward. The pained expression he had seemed too exaggerated for just a light fall. I knelt down, leveling him. "Does it hurt because of that?" That. We knew what that is. How can we ever forget? He could forget about it but I couldn't. It will be engraved in my conscience for eternity.

Brown eyes stared at me. "It does not hurt that much." He was too kind. He still didn't want me to blame myself. He smiled warmly at me.

"But it is because of that, isn't it?" I held him in my arms, bridal style.  I seated him on the chair meanest. "I'm sorry."

"Alfred-san plea-"

"How can you still be so kind to me?"  I avoided his gaze. "After what I did to you during the war. Why are you still so good? Why?"

A moment of silence past us. "Because," the hushed atmosphere was intruded, "You helped me get back on my own feet." His small delicate hands cupped my face, forcing me to stare with his brown eyes. "I am very grateful."

So gentle, he was so gentle. He touched me like I was something dear too him. I spoke bitterly, "When I first came to your country and started your enlightenment, I felt a connection." I caressed a hand that held my face. "A connection stronger than anything. It was like my whole body knew. I felt my soul rejoicing at that time." A small blush appeared on his cheeks. "But I almost killed you during the war…" Memories of WWII emerged. Images of Kiku splattered in his blood came into view. The painful depiction wounded my heart.

"I was the one who gave you a reason to." His voice was trembling. "Please do not carry all the guilt." A forced but pure smile curved on his face. "Pity, happiness, sorrow, regret, vexation and anxiety are important components of love." My sapphire eyes widen at the word. Love? Could he possibly love me with all that I've done? The answer was yes. I conclude that as he pressed his lips gently against mine. The calm consecutive beating of my heart changed, it pounded so much I thought it'll escape my ribcage. He withdrew his lips momentarily showing a slight smile and beat red cheeks. "Please understand."

"You," I was startled with his irrelevant actions. "You can't." I removed his fragile hands from my cheeks. "I have to go." I ran. I ran like my life depended on it. I didn't dare glace at him as I ran.

"Alfred-san!"

No don't look back!  My internal dialogue screamed. Keep running! I followed the voice that ordered me. I reached a small, dark alley. I leaned against one of the walls and slid downward. "You can't." Kiku can't love me. He just can't.

I'm not worthy of his love.

I could never be worthy of his love.

I wasn't worth loving.

How can I let him love me if I hate myself?

I'm worthless.


A sharp object caught my attention. A pointed glass shined, provoking me. I took it in my hand. I tested its sharpness with my bomper jacket. It went through almost instantly. Perfect. I thrust the object through my abdomen forcefully. I winced at the pain. Crimson liquid stared to ooze out. I could feel my head being clouded with nausea.

"I love you Kiku. But you can't love me." I muttered wishing I could actually say it at his face. I drifted desiring for death. But I knew this wasn't enough to kill a country. This was only for the time being. I would still face reality later on but it won't hurt to hope, right?

"You idiot." A familiar husky voice said and my whole body was carried into a cramped place. A car I presumed. It moved and I wished it was toward hell. I knew heaven won't accept me anyway.

"You're not dead you twat."

To be continued…
:iconamericarapefaceplz: :icondontstabmeplz::iconjankisu02:

Its fine Alfred I still love you! :dummy: I totally deserve being stabbed by you! :XD: I'm sorry about this fic. =w=
----
First Ameripan fic. :woohoo: Yeah you guessed it. This is a chapter-ed fic. Another fail, huh? :O Chapter 2 in process.

Anyone wanna guess who the person at the end is? If you got it right I'll give you a prize. :meow:

I feel a lil bit emo because of this. :I

Warning: NOT BETA-EDITED and Slight OOCness

I don't own the characters.

OMG Edit
Totally forgot to say that this is in America's POV.
© 2010 - 2024 jankisu02
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akatsuki-ayame's avatar
>w< Lurve it!

Arthur at the end (UK)